My Story of Self
Being the firstborn child of immigrants, I always knew I had a responsibility to make my parents proud. The definition of ‘proud’ has changed over the years, certainly, but the implications did not. I knew I had to make as much money as possible because that was what my parents expected of me; they immigrated from a foreign country so that I could have a better life. I eventually started high school and my career path had changed in almost every way possible. In high school, I realized that I wanted to be an accountant. Being an accountant seemed like the most probable career path and it brought in a decent amount of money so that I can give back to my parents for all they have given me. I had decided my career path and then I started college at UCSB.
I worked hard in each of my econ-accounting classes, but it never seemed to be enough. The first year of college was extremely rough, I had a hard time transitioning and I was always homesick. The depression I went through had a negative impact on my classes and eventually, my grades. By the middle of my second year in college, I knew that I was not going to be able to get into the major and I was crushed. Econ-accounting was my only plan and now that that plan was not going to happen, I did not know what else to do. All of the expectations from my parents and the goals I set for myself started to weigh heavily on my conscience and I had no idea what I was going to do. One day, I had an epiphany, I took an AP environmental studies class in high school and I fell in love with it. All of the issues that I learned about in that class, I had never even thought about before. I knew about climate change, but I did not know the severe consequences from anthropogenic actions. Endangered species was something that I learned about once in a science class, but I had never paid much attention to it. Sustainability was just a vocabulary word that I heard people use, but I never knew that humans have to become sustainable, economically, socially, and environmentally, to provide a home for future generations.
Everything I had learned in that class changed my perspective on the world. I chose not to pursue a career in it because I did not think that it would bring in enough money, but not being accepted into my original major made me realize that it is not about the money. The major that you chose should be one that you are passionate about, regardless if a big paycheck is promised or not. I decided to change my major to environmental studies.
My parents and I have a language barrier that makes communicating difficult. Once I decided to switch my major, I had an extremely tough time communicating to my parents about the change and the major itself. I could not portray the fact that I was passionate about this topic. I wanted to leave a lasting impact on the world and I thought pursuing this major would allow me to do that. It was especially hard to explain the job opportunities that were opening up in this field due to an increased interest in sustainability and the topic in general. My parents eventually stopped asking me about it, which was concerning to me. One day, they told me that they were proud of me. Being the first to go to college in the family, they gave me their full support, which was weight lifted off my shoulders because I was so worried that my parents would not have supported me in my change. Their opinion truly matters because not only do they help pay for my college tuition, but the whole reason I attended college was to make them proud.
Now the problem was to figure out what I wanted to do with my degree once I graduated. With econ-accounting, it was easy, I would have just found a job at an accounting firm and everything would be fine. With the degree in environmental studies, the job opportunities are endless but I definitely have to look for them.
I spent spring quarter of my junior year participating in the UCDC program. I participated in the People’s Climate March in Washington D.C. and it change my life. It was a hot day and we were all preparing to march with League of United Latin American Citizens (LULAC), an organization that my friend was interning for. Along with LULAC, we were also marching with Green Latinos. A couple of hours into the march, I felt a sense of awe come over me. I was surrounded by hundreds of people and it struck me that all of us had a different reason to march, but we were all fighting for the same cause. During these times, the political tension intensified so it was comforting to know that I was far from being alone in this fight. Green Latinos and LULAC were organizations that focused on the Latinx community. I thought about how I did not really know about any organizations that helped the Asian community. Due to the fact that I am Asian, I felt a sense of urgency in which I should do something to help the community, I just was not sure what.
Another event that I went to while I was in D.C. was the Goldman Environmental Prize Ceremony. The Goldman Environmental Prize is the world’s largest award, honoring grassroots environmental activists. The winners of the prize attended the ceremony and gave speeches. Each speech resonated with me because they all put their lives on the line to save the environment and their community. They each knew that their situation was not going to change unless they took action, and that is exactly what they did. After the event, the audience was actually able to meet the recipients and talk to them. I talked to four out of the six people and they were all extremely humble and I was truly awestruck. After the event, I knew I had to be the voice for those who were voiceless. From that point on, I have been inspired to eventually start my own nonprofit organization that focuses on environmental justice issues in Asia. It was from the events in D.C. that I knew where I wanted my path to lead.
If it was not for the opportunities at D.C., I would still probably have no idea what I wanted to do after I graduate. I want to make a difference for those who do not have the chance to because everyone deserves to be heard. It was a big risk to switch from a major with a promised career after graduation to an open-ended major, but it was definitely the right decision. With the ambition and goals that have been passed down from my parents and the education and experiences at UCSB, I know that I could do anything if I set my mind to it. Although a large amount of money is not promised in this career, I know that my parents will still be proud of me because they have raised a smart, young woman who is trying to make a difference in the world. They immigrated from the U.S. so that my brother and I could have a better life and if that means having a job that I am passionate about whose income in uncertain, then so be it.